Here's a little something I'm working on.

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Guinea Pig

Alright I have a confession to make: I am a sexual guinea pig.

Yes, you heard me correct, a sexual guinea pig. Seriously. I have one of those jobs that would make people swoon if I told them. Secretly, I already know that like most folks, they really want to change places with me. Really! You see, I try out all the inventions of this sex toy company, Szam Electronics. And what inventions they are! I wish you could see them. They have things that make you …oh, forgive me. I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning…


It began so innocently. I was searching for a job, any job, to pay my bills. I’d been kicked out of the house for missing curfew too many times and my friend girl’s parents were getting tired of feeding my dead weight. So I hit the pavement looking for work.

By chance, I saw an advertisement for an “electronics tester.” I had no idea what that meant and knew I didn’t know a transistor from a voltage meter, but I had to have a job. I jotted the number down and found a pay phone. I was ecstatic they didn’t ask for my experience but they did ask me to come right over for an interview.

To say I was anxious is an understatement. I was wearing my Sunday best like they suggested in VoTech class, replete with pantyhose and high heels. If I had known how far I would have to walk, I would have chucked those heels and worn my tennis shoes. I gritted my teeth and bore the pain as I tip-toed down the sidewalk looking for the correct address.

The building I stopped in front of was an old factory that needed a new coat of paint. My first thought was how in the heck can they afford to pay somebody if the building looks like this? The growling of my stomach forced me to ignore my brain’s intrusion and push the ancient door bell. I heard the Bong! Bong! Bong! of chimes inside from the street. Just as I figured I either had the wrong address or it was a hoax, the door opened and Albert Einstein stared back at me. Just kidding. The guy did look like the spitting image of old Albert but as you and I know, he’s been kicking up daisies for a minute or two.

“Yes,” the Einstein imitator asked.

“Ah…I’m here about the job?” I questioned tentatively.

He looked me over from head to toe before he spoke again. “So are you here about the job? Or, are you here for the job?” His eyes twinkled behind his rimless lenses.

I was confused. “That’s the same thing, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know. Is it?” he taunted.

I started to turn and walk away but then my stomach rumbled again. I pressed down the bitter words waiting to spew onto this wise cracking old man and humbled myself. “Yes, I’m here for the job.” I injected sudden found confidence into my voice.

“Ahhhh. That’s better. Follow me.” He turned on his heels and began walking down a hallway.

I stepped inside and the odor of burning rubbing and other electrical smells assaulted my nostrils. I looked around cautiously just in case something was about to catch fire. The last thing I needed was to end up dead trying to get a job.

Shivering, I pushed down my misgivings and followed him down the hallway. I had to trot a bit to catch up since he didn’t wait on me. The hallway turned down a dimmer hallway before turning right down another dim hallway until we turned left and entered a wide open space. The room was bright and electronic equipment in various stages of disarray covered every surface, even the floor. The electric smell was especially loud here.

“Wow.” That one word summed it all up.

The man chuckled. “I usually get that whenever someone new enters.”

My mind was now churning with possibilities. There were small shapes and large shapes but nothing quite recognizable. Maybe I’ll be trying out a new type of iPod. I’d never had one, but everything I’d read said they were the bomb diggity and I couldn’t wait to see if it was true. If not an iPod, perhaps a James Bond spy type of thingy. Who knew?

“I’m Olbert Eartzog. You can call me Ollie, though.”

With a name like that, you’d have to call me something else too!

“What a name. I don’t think I’ve ever met an Olbert.” I’ll bet he hasn’t either. “Is it Swedish or Scandinavian or something?”

“Nope. American Gibberish,” he said and cackled like a rooster.

I was warming up to this guy. If you can make fun of yourself, you are probably okay. “So, Ollie, about the job—”

“Yes, the job,” Ollie began, scratching at his chin.

I saw that one side was clean shaven and the other had some serious whiskers still hanging in there. Good Lord, this man is the Mad Scientist and Nutty Professor combined! I stifled my laugh and focused on his eyes.

“The job is a…unique one.”

“Okay. I like things that are different,” I perked up and said.

“This job is quite unique,” he reiterated.

“That’s fine. I’m down with whatever,” I assured him.

“You said it, not me.” He pointed his finger at me.

I felt apprehensive after that statement. Just what did ‘you said it, not me’ mean? Was he about to go psycho or something? I took a step backwards, reassessing my previous assessment, and inhaled deeply before speaking. “What do I have to do?”

“Well, our company designs products for adult usage.” He stared into my eyes, gauging my reaction. “These electronic devices are the latest cutting edge technology in…pleasure.”

I was confused again. “You mean hi-tech gizmos like a souped up Playstation or iPod?”

“Not…exactly.” Ollie hesitated.

“What then.” I needed some clarification.

“Are you over eighteen?” The smile was now gone from his face.

His changing direction caught me off guard. “Yeah. I’m twenty.”

“In college?”

The tone of his question forced me to answer honestly. “No. I dropped out last year.”

“Do you live with your parents?”

Whoa. Is this some type of kidnapping setup? “Sometimes,” I answered cautiously.

“Do you live with your parents?” Ollie repeated more forceful.

Okay, lying is a waste of time. He saw right through me. “No. I live with a friend girl.”

A smile suddenly split his lips. “That good. No need to have irate parents in the fray.”

A chill ran down my spine. “If you say so.” Suddenly, I couldn’t take the suspense, his swing moods or the smell any longer. I wanted a job but I didn’t think I wanted whatever he was offering. “Look Ollie, I don’t think this job is for me. I appreciate you taking time from your busy schedule, but I think I’ll be going.”

“No need to run off like a little girl. I won’t harm you.” Ollie began laughing and slapping at his legs.

I didn’t see the humor in the situation and refused to call his bluff. “Could you take me back to the front door?”

“If you are willing to walk out on $700 a week, paid in cash, sure.” Ollie brushed past me and began walking towards the outer door.

Did he say $700 per week? I didn’t know the last time I had made $200 a week much less $700. My stomach began kickboxing against my ribs reminding me again of my predicament. Seven hundred dollars would go a long way into getting me an apartment. I made up my mind in a snap. As long as it wasn’t prostitution…well, streetwalking prostitution anyway, I was doing it. “Hold up!”

Ollie turned back with a smile. “Yes?”

I licked my lips and cleared my throat before I spoke. “This is a legitimate job, right?”

“Oh, very.”

“I’m not going to be a…prostitute or anything like that, am I?”

Ollie began laughing. “I’ve been called many things but pimp isn’t one of them.”

“Then, I’ll take the job.”

Ollie’s laugh cut off like a faucet. “Follow me. I need to see how you test.” He flipped his hand at me to follow.

Lord, please don’t let me have made a horrible mistake! Yet, I followed him like he was the Pied Piper.

Lady Jaided Magazine

Check out this erotica magazine. The free online issue discusses sex, sexual issues, sex from my point of view, sex from your point of view, A**holes of sex as well as commentary of issues of today. Some of them scratched at my psyche again--life imprisonment for children. That's a whole 'nother commentary. But one I've been running from but need to put on paper. Thanks!

Erotica Authors

Jolie duPrie- http://www.joliedupre.com
Sylvia Hubbard- www.sylviahubbard.com
Delinda Jasper- www.delindajasper.com
Naiche Sioux- www.niache.blogspot.com
Sydney Molare- www.sydneymolare.com
Ladonna Tutt- www.ladonnatutt.com

Pout Erotica-11

Kit-E-Cat

I was in the pet store doing my usual napping, back to the counter, when the bell over the door tingled. Shit! Another customer. I shrugged myself from my chair and placed a fake smile on my face. I couldn’t afford to get written up again. My parents were just about to kick me out as it was.

The perfume hit me before I turned my head. My eyes watered; hairs catapulted from my nose. Whatever it was, it was potent. I wiped errant tears from my eyes before my heart nearly stopped as my vision cleared. Standing just inside of the door was a… bear? As I wiped more moisture from my eyes, I could now see that it was a person covered from head to toe in fur. Yes, fur hood, fur coat, fur boots. The only thing human was the ebony face and piercing eyes that were staring at me.

Now I had to give it to chick, she wasn’t ghetto fur coordinated—you know leopard mixed with ocelot mixed with tiger, etc. She was furred in the same fur—mink? Or was it sable?—from head to feet…and sistergirl was wearing it like she’d been owning it for a minute.

I straightened to my tallest height—five feet nine—then leaned seductively on the counter as I was wont to do whenever a sexy female was in my presence. “May I help you?” I asked in my deepest, sexiest, masculine voice.

She licked her lips slowly. I saw a flash of white then pink as the tongue navigated her lip real estate in millimeter increments…while my flash hard-on took only milliseconds to peak. I’m telling you, one entire trip must have taken at least a minute, or maybe that what it felt like to my now throbbing dick.

Oh I’ve had experience with women. I may be young, but I’ve tossed a mature honey or two in my day in between the teenyboppers. I can’t say that any have been in this chicks league.
I was ruminating on my approach when the lips parted like the Red Sea and exposed double rows of diamond whites. “I need something for my cat,” she purred then took steps closer to me.

I tell you, no poet had more symmetry, more rhyme than the rhythm of her walk. I wanted to become a hair in her coat, flow with her flow as I watched those hips sway beneath that fur.
As she got closer, her eyes captivated me. I realized that they were gold and the pupils ran up and down versus being a circle….just like a cat. Must be contacts. She leaned closer and I could see lighter gold flecks in the irises and her eyes were completely rimmed in black. What the hell is this? For a second, I had a quick vision of aliens invading the store, then dismissed it. This was just a woman wearing fur with strange contacts. My body shivered in spite of the strong words of encouragement I’d just fed my brain.

“Something for you c…cat?” I tried to sound confident but my voice squeaked and cracked.
The cats in the back of the store suddenly began mewling loudly. She cocked her head then those hypnotic eyes left mine and looked towards the cages. The coat partially opened as she shifted…there wasn’t a single natural or manmade fiber on her body! I just got an eyeful of muscular, naked ebony thighs topped by a heart-shaped blond bush and a dark nipple staring back at me.

The hard-on I thought had peaked grew firmer. The blood pulsed against my zipper and I wiggled discreetly. I slid my hand down to rearrange the traitorous organ, hoping I didn’t call attention to my condition. All the while my mind was screaming You’ve got to get some relief! If I could get one wish granted at that moment, it was that she would stroll to the cages and I could creep into the bathroom for a quick jack off. Let her walk off please! I don’t want blueballs!

Instead she turned back to me, no attempt to right the coat, and her eyes traveled down to the hand covering the front of my crotch. She smiled, knowingly. “I want to pick up the kitties. Is that allowed?” Her hands brushed her hood from her head and I saw that blond curls—same shade as her bush—covered her head.

It wasn’t allowed without supervision, but at that moment, she could have asked me for all the money in the till and I would have given it to her. The head of my dick was about to split open! “Sure! Go ahead and take it into one of the Get Acquainted rooms.” I said through clenched teeth while fanning towards the row of doors across from us. “I’ll just be in the back for a minute, all right?”

She winked and turned away without answering.

I trot-walked wide-legged to the bathroom, unbuckling my belt as I went. I didn’t even close the door as my hands grabbed my shaft and I began stroking earnestly. Squeezing just like I liked it, applying pressure to the head when I needed it. Normally, I needed a vision of Eva, America’s Top Model, to help me along, but today I blanked everything out in my need for relief.
That’s it, baby. Come on! I breathed air in between clenched teeth. A few more strokes! Just a few—A bloodcurdling howl stopped my hand mid-stroke.

What the hell? I tried to block it all out, get my last strokes but the noise was long and continuous. As in somebody-is-getting-murdered-in-the-store long and continuous. I felt my hard-on dying in my hands. Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I began stroking, trying to revive the limp organ but the goosebumps rising on my skin and my splitting ears forced me to pronounce it dead.

I righted myself then peeked around the door…just in case somebody was getting murdered. Y’all have seen the movies! I couldn’t see anyone just heard the godawful howling as it continued in one high-pitched monosyllable. I grabbed a broom and walked forward…slowly. The brave ones always die quick!

No one else was in the building that I could see, then I realized that all the cat cages were open and the sound was coming from the Get Acquainted room. I couldn’t peer directly into the room, but I did get a glimpse of a cat jumping past the glass front intermittently. I gave a big sigh of relief. It was only the cats.

On more sure footing, I walked to the room to find out why the woman had all the cats in the room with her. As my hands felt the knob, I stopped. The woman was sitting crossed legged on the table howling with them. In fact, she seemed to be the loudest of the bunch.

I pushed the door open and the howling ceased. A cat tried to escape but I stopped it with my foot. I slid inside, standing close since the room was a tight fit meant for only one person and an animal, and said, “Ah…we don’t normally let you bring more than one cat in here at a time. Why don’t I help you get some of them back in the cage?”

Instead of answering me, she stretched high to heaven before lowering those arms, allowing the coat to slide down them. Those nipples were back, front and center! I watched in amazement as Tippy, a Persian, brushed closer then began licking the tips. The woman didn’t push the cat away. Instead she twisted slightly so that Tippy could lick the entire aureola. Bernard, a Manx, jumped onto the table and in seconds he mimicked Tippy on the opposite breast. Her hands slid beneath the jutting flesh and held it outwards to their mouths. Their purring was loud and synchronous.

Now, this was some tripped out shit! I wanted to say something, do something, instead I found myself hypnotized with lust as the onyx twins seemed to ripen and elongate as the cats licked. My dick elongated with them.

Her eyes opened sleepily. “I love a cat’s tongue. It’s so…rough.” Her legs opened wide. A slash of pink crowned by the blond hair winked at me, all of it glistening. Fingers walked downward and began mashing her clit then rubbing it in circles. I was pulsing with need as I watched her juices “suds up” from her ministrations. After a few seconds, she removed the hand and leaned it over the edge of the table. Francisco, a Burmese, sniffed then began licking the fingers eagerly.

I knew I should have gotten the hell away from this woman, but something about her strangeness and the fact that she was naked and doing some shit I’d never heard about held me there.

Francisco jumped onto the table and went straight for the motherlode. His furry head pumped up and down as he licked her snatch. I shifted for a better view. I could see a string of juice hanging from Franciso’s chin as his tongue lapped rapidly. Damn! Suddenly, the woman’s body tensed—abdomen curled, back bowed—and her purrs became mewling as Francisco, Tippy and Bernard licked away.

I was more turned on than I’d ever been in my life! I unzipped my jeans and my dick sprang out like it was waiting for a handshake…and shook it I did. I watched and stroked and squeezed and pulled and watched some more while the woman purred, the cats purred and her musk overpowered her perfume.

Her eyes opened suddenly. “Come here,” she commanded. She briefly pushed the cats away as she laid on the table. As she lay still, they resumed their licking. I moved forward, hating to admit that I might want some of that cat licking for myself, but move forward I did. A slender finger ran down my chest. “Do you have any…milk?” she purred and I stared into those weird contacts again.

“N…no,” I stammered, heart thudding in my chest.

She looked down at my dick. “Guess we’ll have to make…do,” she breathed back. She now cupped my dick, holdng me there. “Uhm, luscious,” she oozed as she leaned closer, fingers circling then stroking the head. I could feel her breath whispering along the shaft as she tilted closer still.

Oh shit! She’s gonna give me head!

The anticipated wetness surrounded my head and my knees nearly buckled. She kissed up the shaft and back down before placing it deep in her mouth.

Hotdamn!

Her tongue was rough as sandpaper. Not uncomfortable rough but pleasure-pain rough. The wet roughness pulled me deeper and deeper into mindless abandon. My hips began pumping on their own; my balls tightened.

A finger ran along the bottom of my sac and into my crack. My pumping increased. I had a fleeting thought of maybe I was hurting her, but she suddenly pushed her head forward, encasing ¾ of my seven inches into her mouth.

Aw shit!

I felt the cat’s paws on my pants and ignored it. I wasn’t about to stop this love groove to swat at a nosy cat! Then the fingers…changed. They weren’t smooth but scratching and rhythmic too. This only heightened my pleasure.

I grabbed her hair and pumped like I was in her pussy. I pistoned my hips and reveled in her saliva coated rough tongue as her rough fingers rubbed my balls. She moaned and grabbed a thigh…yet the fingers kept scratching my balls.

The cats licking her must have felt the change too because they began mewling loudly. Her body tensed and legs splayed wider. Her hand left my thigh and the fingers encircled the root of my dick and squeezed.

“Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shitttttttttt!” I screamed as the hot liquid spewed from me and

into the rough hotness of her. Her body contorted and my cum dripped from the sides of her mouth as she opened wide and screamed.

As I calmed down, I looked down to see a cat with its head deep in my crotch. Suddenly sickened, I thumped its head and it released my pants and hissed at me. Guess I know what that ball roughness was about.

The cats on the table jumped to the floor and over to the hissing cat. The woman began pulling on her fur coat. I stayed quiet, not sure of what to say or do now. She stood and smiled at me.

“Enjoy yourself?” she purred again.

I smiled back. “Immensely.”

“Your milk was good, too.” She licked her lips before smacking them. I stayed quiet. I was hoping there was a Round 2 or something in the deal. She looked at the cats. “Let’s get them back in their cages.”

Guess not. “Yeah.”

She smooched her lips repeatedly and when she opened the door, the cats followed her out. I watched in amazement as they all jumped back into their respective cages.

Is this chick weird or what?

She turned to me. “Just a little trick I learned.”

“O…kay.” I wasn’t convinced she wasn’t an alien but aliens don’t give blowjobs do they?

She flashed her smile. “I guess I’ll be going” She began walking towards the front door then turned back and handed me a card. “ I’m called Kit by the way. Call me sometimes.” With that, she walked out into the sunshine and I was left with a memory of divine sex and a card which read, 1-800-Kit-E-Cat.