Pout Erotica

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Thursday, October 13, 2005

The Rules of Sheet Wrangling

(Also referred to as a sex fling)

1. I am slow. Expect delays of 6 months to a year before even sniffing the coochie. This time will be spent finding out if you are “worthy” to partake of this premium pussy I possess.

2. We are “friends” period. No where were you? No why haven’t you called? No whining whatsoever. See you when I see you.

3. We will be discreet at all times. Meaning, the only folks that need to know are you and me. This telling the world and walking around holding hands is so obsolete. Besides, secrets make things stay juicy longer.

4. We will communicate at mutually appropriate times. If you call me and I tell you I cannot talk…read between the lines. Do NOT blow up my cell phone and pager.

5. We will not entertain questions or conversations on who else we might be seeing. This is the foundation for drama and I’m not having it.

6. We will not “just drop by” without having arranged so beforehand. Feelings might get hurt and we are not trying to hurt feelings.

7. No pouting and attitude when one cannot see the other at the time asked for. Withholding sex will not force me to kick the other person out of my life. Instead, I will be forced to find a replacement for your slot since you have now become a slacker.

8. We will be respectful of each other’s life outside of this relationship. There is more to life than us and we must make adjustments in our brain cavity for such occurrences.

9. Good sex is just that, good sex. We are NOT in love, nor do I want or need to hear these things. In fact, symptoms of becoming sexually addicted to myself will cause me to see you less not more. Decreases possibility of drama.

10. You must bring your “A” sex game at all times. The basis of this relationship is sex, sex, and more sex. Therefore, get your rest, eat your Wheaties and work out to increase your stamina. I’m already focused and you need to be also.

11. Do not ever think that you “own” this coochie. You are, and most likely will always be, working on a short-term Lease-A-Pussy contract. (Please read the fine print.)

12. Most important rule: Give what you expect to get. If you want me to do…this, then expect to reciprocate withè that. It’s only fair.


  • At 1:28 PM, Blogger Msnhim said…

    That was too True!

  • At 8:01 AM, Blogger Sylvia Hubbard said…

    i'm framing this bitch for Christmas and sending it out as gifts.

    youse'sa crazy mo'fo, gurl!

    lovin it!!!


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